how?
I hate the feeling that you're making the wrong decision. I wish someone could tell me where to go, and what to do. Not in a controlling way, but in a sense that they have saw my life laid out and know whats in store for me. I am sick of trying to make the right decision. i just want to be happy. how do i take control of my life, stand up for whats right, and not feel guilty about it? How do i not worry about hurting peoples feelings, and even leaving someone stranded.
How do you deal with the fact that someone is relying on you, you are someones other half, and they need to be with you, but don't treat you as they need you with them. How do you overcome feeling taken for granted?
how do you get over feeling scared to come home because you're bf may have made the wrong decision, and crushed you're feelings, and now the evening is going to be hell.
i wish i had a little person on my shoulder making my decisions for me.
How do you deal with the fact that someone is relying on you, you are someones other half, and they need to be with you, but don't treat you as they need you with them. How do you overcome feeling taken for granted?
how do you get over feeling scared to come home because you're bf may have made the wrong decision, and crushed you're feelings, and now the evening is going to be hell.
i wish i had a little person on my shoulder making my decisions for me.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Candice on -
You just have to trust yourself, and when things don't go your way based on whatever decision you made, then learn from your mistakes. There isn't anyone out there who can make our decisions for us. Sure people can be there for you and offer advice, but in the end it is ultimately up to you to decide how you're going to live your life. I would say just to have a little more faith in yourself that you are doing the right thing, or what's right for you, and go with your instincts when you're not sure what to do. Sorry, I know that's not much help, but I tried.
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Permalink Reply by Man♪y Jo on -
ive always had an issue in believing in myself. I guess i dont have the confidence that im doing the right things. I am insecure, when it comes to myself.
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Permalink Reply by Silent Rage on -
Until you gain more confidence in yourself try imaginge a friend in the same situation and what advice would you give them? It sounds tryte but inreality it seems to really work. I love helping people that seem to be in trouble so I will do what is in my power to help but I rarely every do things to help myself. I have gotten a little better lately by just giving myself the same advice I would give someone else.
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Permalink Reply by David on -
Sounds odd. To make the best decision in any situation. Always think about you first, and who you love second. Remember, if someone relies on you, just be there for them. Don't back off and say, oh hey I need my space. Now that is selfish. If you love someone, be there to help them, don't just leave them alone. In love, you have to be there for each other. That's how most relationships break up, one person wants to be alone or have more alone time, and that leads to the "If you don't care, than I don't care" behavior. You must stay together, and if there is a conflict or disagreement, talk it out, negotiate, don't just lay back and let things go because you may be left out or frustrated at him, never ever leave anyone alone when they are longing for you, and if you have to leave, just tell him or her that you just need to move on now, and I can't deal with your headaches any longer.
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Permalink Reply by Ashley Howard on -
this was my life exactly just a few months ago... this worked for me so just consider it. i left my bf cuz he was just doin stupid shit that i cannot even describe. anyways, if you feel unhappy in anyway, GET OUT. i was afraid to as well, i found someone who loved me , not needed me there cuz he needed his other half. i bet you are the type of person who is always doin shit for others, sweetie, this time, its your turn to do somethin for you. find a guy who doesn't play these mind games with you and find a guy who loves you and will be there for you unlike need you there for him! and as for leaving anyone behind... it happens, but this is for you, so they need to just wait. i hope all works out with all this... you be sure to lemme know ok. im here if you need anything else!
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Permalink Reply by Man♪y Jo on
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i dont know how many times i have "been there" for him. I dont know how many chances i have given him. I tell him, "you make really poor decisions" and his response is "you sound like my mom."
I want him to choose me over everything. I want to know that he trusts me. But he doesnt, and i have never given him a reason not to.
I have kept quite about all these issues. for a very long time. i finally worked up some courage to put it out there somewhere, and get some input.
dont get me wrong, he knows about these issues. he is not in the dark about anything, and i dont know how many times i have brought up these issues to him. its just like no matter what i say, things always revert back to how they used to be. no changes have been made.
im just so lost.
Wasteland actually seems to fit my life right now.
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Permalink Reply by Juliet on -
How boring would that be?! If you never have any sort of anxiety or uncertainty about the future, you'll never get to enjoy how things turn out. If you never had to make decisions for yourself, you'd never have an identity; you might as well not exist.
Some decisions are harder than others. Just consider every alternative and how it will affect your life as well as those around you, and then trust yourself, like Candice said. If you don't make decisions on your own, you'll never have any independence and you'll never learn anything.
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Permalink Reply by Mandy on -
try to remember every turn you make in your life is leading to something more, even if you can't see it now. I had a lot of regrets in my life and thought everything i was doing was wrong and yeah everybody's made their share of mistakes. Although when i look back now, i realize that everything that happened was really for a reason. I finally found a man that believe's in me and what i wanna do in my life, and also even cares more about my son then his own father does. It took alot of mistakes and doubting myself and having low self-confidence, now it's like none of my past bother's me because it led me to the place i needed and wanted to be in for a long time. Every mistake you will learn from and when you find that right person and find the true you. When you have no regrets from the past, no worrying about what other people think, not being afraid of anything and you feel on top of the world. That's your true self, it might happen soon or it could be a while. You just have to be patient and realize something good will come out of everything that's ever happened. Trust me when i say it will happen, I know it happened to me and it took almost 23 yrs of making bad choices that led me here and i know if anything was different then, i wouldn't be as happy and know the real person inside of me now. Just try to trust yourself as much as possible, and soon enough you will know what all the pain, sadness, self doubt, and everything else was for. Everyone has got the strength inside of themself to be happy, sometimes it just takes alot of pain to get to it. Just try to be as positive as possible, you'll see when it happens. Good Luck and I'm pretty sure everything will turn out alright for ya.
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Permalink Reply by Man♪y Jo on
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thank you everyone for your advice and insight. i really do appreciate everything, and feel really good about coming here with my issue. i dont think i could have taken this anywhere else... it just seemed right to open up here, on this site.
Im glad to hear im not the only one going thru this cause i do feel alone. i look around and see everyone happy with their life, and wonder whu i cant be like them.
things since my post havent gotten better, but i gave him one last chance, and i need help sticking to my guns, but im serious, im not going to put myself thru the hurt anymore. i have places to go if things dont work out.
and yes im that person that does everything for everyone. im kind hearted and tend to get walked on... a lot.
i feel no one ever notices all the nice things i do. but i do it anyways.
but.......we're just going to try to make it thru the holidays....and then we'll see.
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